hoosing the right name can seem daunting these days, with so many choices to sift through, so much new information about the importance of names, such creative baby naming in Hollywood and on the Web. How can you tell if a name is too popular or not mainstream enough, wonderfully creative or just plain weird?

How can you find the name that is perfect for you and your baby?

AIM TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A NAME
Remember falling in love with your partner? Swooning the first time you heard your baby’s heartbeat? That’s the kind of emotional reaction you should go for with a name, too. Look for one that you love so much it makes your heart pound, that you can’t stop thinking about, that you keep loving no matter what anybody says.

DON'T PAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
It’s a lot of fun talking about names with your spouse, your friends, your family. Everyone’s going to ask which names you’re considering – and then they’re going to do their best to convince you that those names are stupid, ugly, ridiculous choices, and that you should pick the names they like instead. The problem is, these people are only giving their subjective opinions. Your parents’ ideas are several decades out of style, your childless friends are clueless, and the grocer and the mail carrier – yes, everyone wants to get into the act – know even less. Talk about it if you like. Then tune out all those other opinions and make the big decision by yourself, with your partner.

REMEMBER, IT'S MORE ABOUT YOUR CHILD THAN ABOUT YOU
Love aside, it’s important to keep in mind that your child is the one who’s going to live with your name choice – not just when he’s a baby, oblivious in your arms, but on the playground and in the high school cafeteria and on job interviews and at his fortieth birthday party and as an old man. The point is, it doesn’t matter whether your friends think a name is cool or what kind of attention you get on your favorite baby-naming bulletin board for your ideas. Your kid is going to be the one sweating in his interview suit or hobbling around the nursing home, thinking, “Dang! Why did they have to name me Harley?”

NAMES HAVE CHANGED IN A BIG WAY
[So] know that Harley isn’t the same name it was when you were a kid. Names have changed in a big way, so that the names that would have been considered strange or that would have gotten you teased on the playground when you were in school are now accepted as completely normal. Interchangeable names for boys and girls? Totally standard – though you still don’t want to name your son Sue. (You probably don’t want to name your daughter Sue either, but for different reasons.) Ethnic names? Found in the most all-American towns. Unconventional spellings and invented names? Often, the traditional spelling is now the exception, and the girl down the block is more likely to be named Nevaeh than Nancy. It’s a whole new baby-naming world out there.

EXPAND YOUR VIEW OF CREATIVITY
Consistent with this new world of baby naming is the pressure a lot of parents feel to be creative in their choices. Inventing a name or varying a spelling is great if that’s your style, but there are a lot of other ways to be creative. Try a fresh international twist on a familiar name. Consider names you never even knew existed; you’ll find a wide menu of choices here that have never appeared in any name book before.

LOOK FOR A NAME WITH MEANING
A name’s meaning these days extends far beyond the original “spear carrier” or “God is gracious.” You’ll want to consider what a name means in terms of your family history, your individual experience, your personal style. Can you find a name that relates to your family tree? Your ethnic background? How about a place name or a word name or an occupational name that signals something with personal significance to you? Explore what different names mean in relation to your sense of style, of history, of yourself and your partner. A name that connects deeply on several levels will resonate into the future for both you and your child.

DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH
Hang out in your local playground or read the birth announcements to familiarize yourself with the naming trends in your neighborhood. Check out the most current popularity lists at www.ssa.gov. [Ed. Note: This data is also available through The Cradle’s Baby Name Search, which offers baby name advice adapted from the authors' book, The Baby Name Bible.] Read or participate in a baby name message board. [Ed. Note: Check out The Cradle's Message Boards, available in the MY CRADLE section.] Depending on your needs and tastes, you might also want to look at our style-oriented books, Beyond Jennifer & Jason, Madison and Montana, and Cool Names for Babies, and our ethnic baby-naming guides, Beyond Shannon & Sean or Beyond Sarah & Sam.

PUT BABY NAMING IN PERSPECTIVE
Of course, we believe names are important. They telegraph messages about a person’s class, family, ethnicity, gender, creativity, intelligence – messages that you, as a conscientious parent, want to control. You want to do everything you can to choose the best possible name. And yet, let’s not get carried away. Books that tell you that a name controls your child’s destiny or holds the key to success are just trying to persuade you to buy something with little validity.

HAVE FUN
Yes, choosing a name is a serious, long-term decision, but it can and should be fun and exciting. We want this to be the book you stay up late into the night reading. The subject of laugh-filled dinners and under-the-covers heart-to-hearts. There’s so much that’s frightening and out of your control about becoming a parent, you should enjoy this one aspect that has so much potential for pleasure.

LET US BE YOUR GUIDES
Parents often ask us, “How do I know whether a name I like is going to get too popular?” [or] “How can I find a name that’s distinctive without being too weird?” Such difficult questions are at the heart of most parents’ search for the perfect name, and that’s exactly where we come in. You don’t have to somehow figure out or guess these things for yourself: Through our decades of research and experience, we know which names are coming into style and which are heading out, which old favorites are worth dusting off and which should stay in mothballs, what’s cool and what’s just freaky. That’s exactly the kind of information you’ll find throughout [our] book [and in this search engine], leading you to a name you’ll love even more through the years than you do today, the name your wonderful child deserves.

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