Getting Your First Baby Ready for the New Baby
How to Make it an Easy Transition
by Chelsea P. Gladden
growing family is one of the most exciting things in the world for parents. To help ensure it’s just as exciting for your firstborn (or any of your children), here are a few tips for including them and making them feel just as loved as they were before that other adorable little person came along.
Try Not to Blame the Baby
During pregnancy: With a bulging belly and an aching back, it may be hard for you to pick up your other child. Try to avoid saying things like, “I can’t pick you up because there’s a baby in my tummy.” Simple explanations such as, “Mommy’s back hurts” or “Mommy is too big right now” will do the trick without planting any seeds for future resentment. Your best bet is to just state the facts as they relate to you and not blame the baby.
After Baby’s Arrival: When your little one wants to go to the park and you can’t muster the energy, you might be tempted to explain that you’re exhausted from staying up all night with the baby. But this just makes the baby the culprit . You might want to try, “Mommy is too tired today – would you like to read a book?”
If it’s a book they’re looking for and Mom has to nurse, try to leave “the baby” out of the explanation. “Mommy needs to nurse” should suffice. On the other hand, if you can nurse your newborn and read to your older one at once, you’ve found a great way to turn a conflict into quality family time!
Include Your Child
As you know by now, your child picks up on a lot. When you and your spouse are giddy over the pregnancy, explain this to your child. “Our family is growing and we’re all going to have more people to love,” is a great way to include your child in the experience.
Some other ways to include your older child:
- Daddy and child can feel Mommy’s tummy together.
- Bring your child to ultrasound appointments and let him see the printouts of the baby.
- Take your older child to the toy store and let him pick out a gift for his new sibling.
- Let your older child help decorate the nursery.
Make Your Older Child Feel Important
A new arrival means your older one gets to be the big brother or sister. Relate this to your own family: “Did you know that Aunt Sue is Mommy’s big sister?”
During Pregnancy:
Put together a little photo album with your first child’s ultrasound photos, Mommy pregnant, and parents and grandparents holding him as a newborn in the hospital. The hospital photo will also help your older child feel comfortable seeing Mommy in the hospital bed this time around. Continue to look through the photo album and reminisce throughout the current pregnancy – and especially after the baby’s arrival.
After Baby’s Arrival:
Enlist your older child’s help. Believe it or not, most kids love this!
Some ways to ask for help:
- Have your older child hand you the diaper when changing your newborn.
- Have your older one pick out the baby’s outfit (giving a choice between two that you’ve chosen will ensure the clothes are suitable).
- Ask your older one to help choose a photograph of the new baby to put in a frame near the changing table or nursing area.
