Pregnant Again?

hh, a first pregnancy. Maternal bliss. Delightful thoughts of new life blossoming in your womb. Heady expectations for a lifetime with your first-born.

Making sure your heart rate stays in a safe zone at the gym. Avoiding tuna. Oh — and rearranging your desk at the office so no one can see that you’re obsessing over pregnancy websites instead of working.

If this is your first pregnancy, you’re most likely doing it perfectly. However, if this is your second, third or, dare I say, fourth pregnancy, you may notice you are doing things a bit differently this time around!

INFORMATION GATHERING
Amazon sells more than 2,000 books on pregnancy and childbirth.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I bought, well, most of them. I knew how my fetus was developing each week, how to eat nutritiously while pregnant, and I could recite the most popular names from each decade based on nationality of the parents, geographic region, and the child’s birth order. Let’s just say that this Ivy League grad was studying up once again.

During my later pregnancies, it wasn’t that I was no longer interested in learning what was happening to me, it’s just that I had already bought more than my share of Amazon’s books on parenting!

SHOPPING
One thing about being pregnant is that you can walk by any of your favorite boutiques and not feel the slightest urge to stop. Why bother? Nothing will fit anyway. So what do most women do (besides buy more shoes)?

Shop for the nursery.

For my first pregnancy, I had “The List”. I don’t know how long “The List” has been in circulation, but by the time my best friend Julie passed it along to me, it contained 37 things I had to buy before the baby was born.  

So I hunkered down, cross-referenced Baby Bargains, and got to work. I bought four different types of diaper creams and became an expert at which form of rash required which cream. I learned the differences between all the diaper disposal systems. I understood the pros and cons of the baby nail clipper vs. the emery board. The crib I bought for my firstborn was imported from Italy and took longer to arrive in America than my wedding dress.

I must admit that when it came time to go shopping for my second child, I left the baby superstore with the cheapest crib they had in stock. I ended up using expired diaper cream on my second and third babies and picking their nails off with my fingers.

But to this day, I still pass along "The List" to expectant moms.

DRINKING
I was only two months pregnant with my first son when my husband and I were at a business dinner. While finishing off the sorbet and fruit dessert (and trying to flag down a waiter to ask for seconds), I glanced at the gilt-edged menu next to my place card and noticed that the sorbet was in a champagne sauce. I nearly puked. The tears began to flow as I convinced myself I had done something monumentally destructive to my baby. He turned out fine in spite of my inadvertent indulgence

In my subsequent pregnancies, I joined the growing number of women who actually believe their doctors (and the French) when they say it’s okay to have an occasional glass of wine while pregnant.

YOUR PREGNANCY RITE OF PASSAGE
Being pregnant for the first time is just another rite of passage. Remember when you were planning your wedding? Everything had to be perfect. But some time after your own reception, you snickered at the newly engaged who insisted that the napkins at the reception match the sashes on the bridesmaids’ dresses. Of course, when it was your wedding, every detail mattered. Same with your first baby.

So, if this is your first pregnancy, we give you permission to be a bit neurotic about bath temperatures, nursery furnishings, and listeria threats. Just do those of us who have been there a favor: lay off the dirty looks when you see us taking a Jacuzzi, buying solid color off-the-rack crib bumpers, and eating hot dogs!

Parenting is a skill you develop - not one you’re born with - so give yourself a chance to find your own style as you move past that first pregnancy.