om-to-be and Dirt actress Laura Allen talks to The Cradle about cravings, lemon chews, and the challenges of balancing life as a working mom.
The Cradle: How would you describe your pregnancy... both physically and emotionally?
Laura: My first trimester was a breeze, for the most part, physically. Although I had nausea at the thought of making coffee, which made my husband greet me with citrus in the mornings before getting out of bed, my body adapted well to pregnancy initially. Emotionally, however, I tormented myself with “Will I be a good mother? Is this the end of life as I know it? Is this the end of my childhood?” I suffered through some hormonally charged big questions.
By the second trimester, the emotional weight lifted, the bulge began to become apparent, and I started to relish and celebrate pregnancy. My husband, Bruce, bought me a tiny porcelain sculpture of a female figurine with a pregnant belly and she is so gorgeous, full, and womanly, I found a new acceptance of the changes occurring.
Now in the third trimester, fully propped up on body pillows at night and battling heartburn, the reversal is ironic! I am emotionally exuberant, ready to fall in love with this new person in a couple months, and yet my body is no longer under my control. The baby is such a presence in my life now I can’t sleep unless he or she is settled. Sometimes the movement makes me laugh - it is so outrageous to feel something alive inside. But I can also get queasy quickly if it kicks at my bladder or full stomach. With still two months to go, I am far more physically challenged now than ever.
The Cradle: What have been your biggest cravings?
Laura: Oddly, I have cravings that last until I satisfy them, and then they thankfully go away. At first it was citrus to settle the nausea. I grossed out most people when I told them I would wake up at 3 a.m. to eat hummus on raisin toast. Then someone played some Indian music and I couldn’t get through the hour without satisfying an Indian lunch craving. Next it was a doughnut. Luckily once I satisfy an impulse I can then move on to some other odd need. I opened the pizza joint in my neighborhood a few weeks ago, knocking on their glass door in the morning to get their first slices. My cravings are dire and maniacal, and then they subside.
The Cradle: Are there any pregnancy-related products that you’ve loved?
Laura: Mommy’s Bliss products - the Belly Butter [and] the heartburn pills. I love the lemon chews made by Bellybar with folic acid and omega-3 because I have a hard time stomaching a bunch of vitamins and pills.
The Cradle: Tell us about your pregnancy style.
Laura: Oversized sundresses. Wife-beater tanks and drawstring cargo pants. Flip-flops. Nothing beats pregnancy by the beach. Hats and scarves too.
The Cradle: What has surprised you about yourself during your pregnancy?
Laura: Maybe one thing that has surprised me most has been my urge to keep traveling before the baby arrives. I counted 14 airplanes I’ve been on since becoming pregnant. I guess something in me wants to indulge my wanderlust [before] becoming a mother.
The Cradle: Have you been working, or have you been able to take some time off? How has that been for you?
Laura: I worked in New York City last month on a play for development for an HBO movie. I bared my pregnant belly on stage each night and felt kind of great that this baby in me was getting a New York stage debut. Otherwise, aside from attending film festivals for recent projects, I have not been filming. We got pregnant during the writers’ strike, and now with the threat of the actors’ strike this summer, I feel at peace staying busy with class, travel, writing, and preparing for becoming a “working mother.”
The Cradle: Do you already have baby names picked out?
Laura: So far we have a single name picked out – a name that will suit a boy or a girl, since we are waiting to learn the gender. We came up with the name probably in month three, and so far it’s stuck. We only hope the baby loves it for 80-plus years. A name is a big deal; it was hard enough agreeing with Bruce. I was getting into some old fashioned names. For instance, for a boy: Curly, Hank, Montgomery... Bruce wasn’t going for it. But his choices, especially for girls, all sounded like stripper names to me. Finally we found something that is tomboyish enough for a girl and still tough enough for a boy through manhood.
The Cradle: How would you ideally like your birth experience to be?
Laura: Ideally I would like my birth experience to be quick! My friend made me laugh when she described a birthing ideal to be one where you whistle into the delivery room, get sufficiently drugged, and awaken to a little girl snuggled in her Tory Burch dress in your arms. I laugh because, although I don’t want to be removed as all that, it would be nice to know I am going to get through it with relative ease, and still the reward will be great. People have strong, strong feelings about the “right” and “wrong” ways to do birth – discussions can get very heated, I find. I guess I am choosing to focus on the good mother I want to become, [and] meanwhile, [have] a flexible birthing plan. I just bet this little person will partly reveal his or her character to me in the way he or she decides to be born. I know it isn’t all up to me.
The Cradle: Will you go back to work right after the birth of your baby? How do you plan on balancing your work life with your life as a new mommy?
Laura: I cannot wait for this challenge. I tend to think a working mom who is an artist has mothering possibilities other working women perhaps do not. First, I like to think motherhood will only enhance my work tremendously. I dearly hope so. Even though I know the daily realities will include sleeplessness sometimes and torn allegiances to work or family, in many ways I think actress-moms get the best of both. I see babies on sets all the time. Trailers are perfectly private sanctuaries for pumping or feeding or napping with the help of a nanny or a flexible working dad like Bruce. And I love the idea of a child being raised in a creative environment, watching his or her mother do what she loves, working because it fulfills her. Of course, I suspect balance and compromise are keys to success. But imagine! Traveling to an international film location with a child for a great role, and maybe my husband or my own mother to help nanny. I mean, I cannot imagine a more fulfilling time for mother and child.
The Cradle: What qualities do you admire in other moms that you hope to incorporate into your parenting style?
Laura: I have a friend in the Pacific Northwest who is a mothering role model for me. We go on hikes with her infant son in his navy blue hoodie and his Ergo Baby Carrier, or watch her pre-teen daughter play with sidewalk chalk or catch grasshoppers, and I am reminded of how I was raised. My sisters and I made up plays for my parents that we put on in the living room; we roamed freely outside; our family dog was our best friend. I know youth is remembered romantically, but I do want my parenting style to be one that encourages an imaginative and free childhood style. I know the temptation is great to stick a kid in front of a television or a video game or a DVD player. I suppose I have lofty ideals of creative parenting, but seriously - fingerpaints? Camping? Building forts and listening to Annie? I can’t wait!
Laura’s favorites:
Bellybar Chews
Mommy’s Bliss Belly Butter
Mommy’s Bliss Heartburn Comfort
