he bouncers at Club Hyde on Sunset Boulevard have all the elements of a Hollywood dream job: LA’s most beautiful women vying for their attention, every leading man instantly becoming the “comic sidekick” as they wait to be let in, and three or four gargantuan co-stars at their beck and call should trouble arise.
Although the line outside your wife’s hospital room may not be quite as long, there is still much to be learned from those muscled gatekeepers with the clipboards. After all, you will be expected to “work the door” of her room, and to take the job as seriously as those club bouncers take theirs.
A few things to keep in mind:
1. BE PREPARED
A good bouncer is always prepared with his guest list, flashlight, walkie-talkie, etc. When you pack your overnight bag, remember all your wife’s necessities, luxuries, and anything else that may help her to be more comfortable. This includes having the infant car seat installed before the due date.
Create a list of contact names. These are the people you can call for help, advice, support, and most importantly, to spread the word when the baby has arrived.
DO NOT think you will remember who to call just because their names are in your cell phone. You could be standing, pacing, and offering words of encouragement for two days straight and when the time comes, your brain may be so fried you won’t remember your own name, much less the ones of people you’re supposed to call.
2. CHECK IDs
Know the medical staff and anyone else who might be entering your room during the delivery.
This list could include but is not limited to:
- Doctor/Obstetrician: Don’t expect to see him/her until the very end of this whole process.
- Midwife: Would be there in place of (or in addition to) a doctor. You would definitely see her a lot sooner than the OB.
- Doula: An additional person assigned to assist your wife and the family, if you have elected to have one.
- Labor Nurses: There will probably be two, possibly three, depending on hospital scheduling. THESE NURSES ARE YOUR VIPs! Treat them respectfully, introduce yourself by name, and get to know theirs — they will likely be there from start to finish.
- Specialists: An assortment of medical professionals who may be called upon if needed, most notably…
- Anesthesiologist: (if your wife is opting for pain relief): Like the Hollywood A-list Movie Star, the anesthesiologist is greeted with open arms, smiles of joy, and is immediately ushered inside. Don't underestimate how much this "star" can elevate the atmosphere in the room.
- OB Tech: Like the quiet guy at the end of the line who happens to be best friends with the club’s owner, you won’t see this person until the end. But the OB Tech has an important job: setting up the table of instruments and assisting the doctor during the delivery.
- Nursery Nurse: Occasionally, the nursery nurse will attend the birth of your child. Ask about the hospital’s policy regarding this matter.
- Her Personal VIP List: With so many people coming and going, a good bouncer needs to know who has carte blanche to enter at will and who should be sent to the back of the line. Remember: If you don’t like your wife’s choices or feel slighted that your mother isn’t on the list, remember that it’s not you who is about to pass a bowling ball through your body.
