Dad's Place in the Family

 am the other man. 


I get my love and attention on the side – little bits here and there. Sometimes late at night when her man is asleep; sometimes a quick lunch at a local cafe or one of those rare moments she can get out of the house. I am the other man and I take can what I can get.

I know he knows. Our paths cross frequently and I can tell by just a look or a word in passing that one day the truth will come out. He will learn that his woman loves another man and when that moment comes... I’ll probably have to change his diapers.

Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but the truth is that ever since our second child (our first son) was born, I am definitely playing second fiddle for my wife’s attention.

Before having kids, my wife and I enjoyed what I think was a healthy, loving relationship. We spent a great deal of time together, took walks, had lengthy conversations, went out on dates, and spent a night or two gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes.

With the birth of my daughter, things changed - but I was too ecstatic about being a father to notice it. Sure, I wasn’t getting as much attention as I was used to, but I was now a father and everything else, like supper, sex, and sleep, seemed trivial.

Now, with the birth of my second child, I already know I’m a father so unfortunately my gaze isn’t as focused on the wonder of this event but rather on the question “What

about me?” Suddenly, I look around and realize that the only gazing my wife does at night is at measuring spoons of children’s cold medicine (usually around three in the morning). Our time together has been reduced to the few minutes spent cleaning up the kitchen after the kids go to bed. Long walks have been replaced by listening to my wife sing our son to sleep at night, and the only dates we have are next to the raisins and the walnuts in the pantry.