Answers to Your Questions About Impending and New Fatherhood

yndicated columnist, parenting expert, and publisher of Family Man Online, Gregory Keer, answers questions for expectant dads. 

Can I Take My Wife's Bed Rest Lying Down?
Should I Circumcise My Son?
Do Fathers Suffer From Postpartum Depression?
Expectant Single Dad

Q: We are 25 weeks into our pregnancy and my wife has just been put on bed rest. The doctor says it may last two weeks or even three months. How do I handle this?

A: First of all, there’s no need to hit the panic button yet. Doctors recommend bed rest for one or more of several reasons, including the possibility of medical complications for your wife or the baby, or because your wife is having early contractions or bleeding. The bed rest usually means the MD is taking a precaution to prevent something from getting more serious, so this is a good thing, overall. As far as what the bed rest entails, it can be anything from complete bed rest in which your wife can do little but get up to go pee, or something partial, which requires her to be at rest for part of each day. However this is prescribed, your wife will need to be medically monitored throughout the period of bed rest time beyond the usual OB/GYN appointments.
 
The prospect of lying around all day may not exactly appeal to your wife if she works, exercises, and/or generally keeps active. Your job is to be incredibly supportive. Keep her in bed, make her feel good about herself as she prioritizes her health and that of the baby. If she would normally be working, bring her work in bed to keep her feeling productive if that’s what she needs. If she’d rather not add work anxiety to the situation, then bring her tons of books and order her Netflix or a good cable/satellite TV movie package. You should also try to spend as much time hanging out with her as you can, so she doesn’t feel lonely or totally out of the loop in the world of the ambulatory. Play card games, talk to her and the baby in-utero. Turn this medical requirement into golden down time.

You could look at this as your chance to train yourself to be a domestic god. If you weren’t all that helpful regarding home responsibilities, you can practice the cooking, the cleaning, the errand running, and whatever else she would normally do. If you master some of these skills pre-baby, you’ll be ahead when Junior enters the world.

Q: My wife and I are about to have our first boy, which brings up the whole circumcision issue. Most of what I’ve read doesn’t convince me that there’s a medical benefit to getting my son snipped, but I’m still not sure whether we should do it or not.

A: I've been asked this question a number of times over the years and it’s one I looked into, as well, because we’ve produced three boys of our own. To save you time, I’m going to cut to the chase (please forgive the pun), then expand a little on the subject.

There are two issues to consider here, including health benefits and religious/cultural practice. If neither issue directs you in your decision, you could consider an option some parents take that says if the father is circumcised, it may make sense to circumcise the son. If the father is uncircumcised, Junior should be uncut, too. Many parents feel this reasoning is too simplistic and that a parent should never just do something to his/her child based on what was done to them, especially since our parents were a bit less informed about the whole issue in the first place. However, it does take into account the idea that it will help your son feel comfortable with the way his penis looks, since a boy will usually look to you for body image, at least early on. One day, he'll point at you and say, "Hey, Daddy, mine looks just like yours – only smaller." (or something like that). At the same time, I should note that if you decide against circumcision, your son would still survive being different from you.