How to: Communicate
with the Healthcare Team

his is so important, you have no idea! In sharp contrast to what so many prenatal education classes would have you think, I believe the healthcare team has the same goals you do: healthy mom/healthy baby! They are not out to control or take over your birth; they are the people who can help you achieve the kind of birth you desire.

Unfortunately so many expectant parents are taught that the doctors and nurses have some kind of hidden agenda, that their support is qualified, and that they are just trying to get you in and out the door as quickly as possible. In the vast majority of cases, this is not true. Is there a bad apple in the batch from time to time? Yes. Can I guarantee that every labor will be assisted by a passionate and committed and highly trained healthcare staff? No. I can tell you that most of the time in most hospitals across the country, the medical team provides the best care possible.

Prenatal Conversations. Spend a minimum of five minutes each day, beginning at 36 weeks (at least), discussing concerns, priorities, coping strategies, and pain. For example, if you have a Cesarean birth, will the partner stay in the operating room or go with the baby to the nursery? Jot some of the most important key points down and take them with you to the hospital (in lieu of a formal, lengthy birth plan).

Introductions. When you arrive at the hospital in labor, introduce yourselves to your labor nurse. Let her in on the goals that you have identified (goals, not plans!). Let her know of any pregnancy history or special concerns, like: “My sister had a nightmare birth a few years ago; I am still terrified from just hearing about it.” Or “I am really focused on avoiding an episiotomy; will you help me with that?” Communicate things about yourselves that will help her meet your goals.

Flexibility. The medical team wants to know that you have reasonable expectations of yourselves, your bodies, and of them! When you are communicating with a voice of reason and making decisions as labor unfolds, they are able to work with you in more of a team-like fashion. The difficulty arises when couples have rigid expectations and have made plans about the way labor will go. This can set up a defensive environment that becomes more about combat than birth.

Hospital Environment. Keep in mind that you are not checking into a hotel. This is a place where lives are being saved at the same time babies are being born! The personnel do their very best to meet needs efficiently and effectively as possible, yet there may be times when you need to wait your turn while they are prioritizing their care.