 | | • | Mental flexibility is a crucial part of mental fitness. | | | | | • | Predict, prepare, and mentally rehearse labor and delivery. | | | | | • | Be prepared for any ‘what if’ situations with a list of positive solutions. | | | | | |
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or most of us the impending prospect of labor and delivery is both exciting and frightening. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of worry about every aspect of the process, including fears about the baby.
There is a monster on Sesame Street named Telly Monster who frequently acts out this cycle of anxiety. This "Telly Monster anxiety syndrome," when applied to labor and delivery might sound like this: "Oh no, what if my water breaks and my OB practitioner wants to induce me? Oh no, what if I can't handle the contractions? Oh no! What if I need a cesarean? Oh no! What if there's a problem with the baby? Oh no..." Does this sound familiar?
Unfortunately, this cycle only creates more anxiety. One of the ways we create and magnify worry is by inaccurate perceptions about the likelihood of a bad thing happening. In other words, we spend a lot of time worrying about things that are unlikely to occur. On the other hand, each of the concerns mentioned above are real, valid, and could happen. My intent is to help you plan for all the possibilities that worry you as your due date approaches.
Another significant factor that increases anxiety is that we often minimize our strengths, such as coping skills, access to resources, and support systems. This increases our sense of vulnerability. Not only do we fear that something bad will happen, but we feel that when it does, we couldn't cope or handle it. Creating a coping plan will help you see and be prepared to utilize a variety of coping tools.
Many couples go into labor with a birth plan. While this plan is helpful in advising your medical and nursing staff of your preferences, it is important to remember, as one OB/GYN told me, "Babies don't read the plan." Mental flexibility is a crucial part of mental fitness. One of the scary parts of the labor and delivery process is a sense of loss of control. Things don't always go as "planned." Having a trusting relationship with your OB practitioner and your partner, having a flexible attitude, and having a plan for all the contingencies you fear will help lower the stress level.
PREDICT, PREPARE, AND REHEARSE
Some wonderful research by Dr. Kathleen Mooney at the Center for Cognitive Therapy in Newport Beach can be very helpful in breaking this cycle of worry. She developed the "PR Plan" (c. 1992) for managing anxiety.
The first step in the PR Plan is to PREDICT the feared events. Your list might include having an induced or very long or difficult labor, or concerns about needing a cesarean section or problems nursing.
The second step is to PREPARE. Instead of the jumping into the "what if" cycle, say to yourself, "If X happens, I can..." For each prediction, make a list of all the positive things you could do; things you could say to yourself, support people, and resources you could utilize to help you deal with the situation.
The third step is to frequently REHEARSE in your mind each of these situations. See yourself using your plan to cope with and manage each situation.
