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on your mind
 
 
Fatherhood: Priceless
Providing for Baby? That’s Another Story.
by Adam Grossman

on’t you just love those credit card commercials where they add up all your expenses so neatly and then remind you of that ultimate bliss for which there is no price tag?

The joys of having a child certainly can’t be measured in dollars and cents, but it’s also true that your little bundle is going to wind up costing you a bundle. Once you get that bun in the oven, the cash register kicks into gear and the whole process can make you dizzy.

But don’t worry – this is all doable and probably way more manageable than your wife’s mood swings.

THE BREAKDOWN
Baby expenses can be divided up into five basic categories: medical, hard goods, soft goods, expendables, and extras.

MEDICAL
Assuming you have insurance, the bulk of your medical costs will be covered, but the co-pays and deductibles do add up. We had full coverage from Blue Shield and our additional expense was around $1,900. That does include a circumcision, so if you plan on keeping junior’s cap on, you might save $250. You may want to think about how you’re going to explain why his equipment looks different from Daddy’s a few years down the line (if that’s the case), but you can always blame it on the economy or rising interest rates if you have to.

HARD GOODS
You don’t have to spend more than a minute at Babies “R” Us to figure out there’s a lot of gear out there. After all, we’re talking about an industry with retail sales that topped $7.5 billion in 2006. Before you sell the golf clubs and take out a second mortgage, rest assured you don’t need most of it.

Breast Pump
There are a few things, however, that you can’t really do without. For example, unless your wife plans on running a 24-hour-a-day milk bar, you’re probably going to want to get a milk pump. No, this is not a Swiftflo system from Dairymaster. But it is one of the most ridiculous-looking contraptions you may ever see on your wife. Resist the temptation – don’t make fun of it, and get the most reliable one you can afford. We rented an excellent Medela machine through a rep at the hospital for about $50/month. This includes purchasing the parts that are up close and personal – only the pump itself is rented – and unless you have an uncontrollable imagination, you probably won’t have much use for it once your baby is off breast milk.

Bassinet
There are a number of other things you’ll want to budget for in the short term. A bassinet can cost anywhere from $50 to $400 or more, but keep in mind your baby will outgrow it. We spent hours evaluating the options, picked out a terrific Eddie Bauer for $150, and two months later, our little guy decided he preferred the crib. We have a pile of outgrown gear in our garage that might be considered landfill in some counties.

One bassinet option that we used successfully is the Co-Sleeper. This is a bassinet/crib that attaches to your bed and allows mom to roll over and take care of baby’s middle-of-the-night feedings without getting up. For around $200, you can save yourself a lot of sleepless nights – you may still be up every couple of hours, but at least you won’t be doing as much walking.

Cribs, Rockers, and Other Furniture
Now let’s talk about furniture. A basic crib and changing table/dresser can cost around $600. Add a nice glider to rock baby to sleep for another $350 and you’re all set until you start thinking about that matching bookcase and toy chest. It’s not hard to spend upwards of $5,000 for complete sets depending on how crazy you want to get. The thing to keep in mind is that you generally get what you pay for, and if you’re looking for furniture that will convert to a bedroom set, you may want to go for a higher quality product. We bought a crib that converts to a bed, so that’s one less item for my landfill pile.

Stroller
One of my favorite hard goods is the stroller. The choices here are vast and you can spend anywhere from $50 for a lightweight Combi to $900 for a top-of-the-line Bugaboo. Yes, $900. And in New York, you can’t take 10 steps into Central Park without tripping over them everywhere. You’d think they only sold one kind of stroller in the Big Apple. Your child’s chariot is worth spending some time and money on – you’ll be using it for 3 to 4 years – so maybe $225 a year for the Mac Daddy stroller is worth it. And you know you’ll look great in Central Park.

Other Essentials
More hard goods include car seats ($230 per car), a good high chair ($200), a travel crib ($120) for when you wake up one day and decide it’s a great idea to take your little one out of town for a wedding, and the all-important Diaper Genie ($30).

SOFT GOODS

You’re going to be buying baby clothes, maternity clothes, receiving blankets, towels, crib linens, and probably one of those marsupial pouches (such as a Baby Bjorn) for hands-free operation. Never underestimate how many clothes your wife will tell you junior can’t live without. There’s a reason Baby Gap is one of the most successful clothing companies in the world: Babies look cute in everything. I finally told my wife she needed to work for the company if she was going to spend $200 a month on onesies and footie pajamas.


EXPENDABLES

You’re going to need diapers. Lots and lots of them. We spend around $70 a month on disposable diapers, which comes out to around 35 cents per poopy diaper based on a four-poop-per-day baby (output will vary). Add another $50 a month for Desitin, baby shampoo, and wipes, and you’re covered on the basics.


EXTRAS

Toys, books, CDs, DVDs. Just remember – no matter where you stand on the merits of Baby Einstein or that $120 super deluxe Exersaucer with the bouncing hippo and the spinning giraffe, sooner or later your baby will discover the Tupperware drawer, and nothing Fisher Price or Graco has to offer will matter. Plan on spending a few hundred dollars on amusement gear and invest in a good set of Tupperware.
So for the first year, your baby budget may eclipse your restaurant budget. But don’t worry, you won’t have time for that anyway. My advice is to have the biggest baby shower you can manage and if you don’t get enough of the goods as gifts, have another baby shower. And open a 529 account as soon as you can to start saving for college.
Just remember, after you’ve spent $1,900 on medical costs, $7,110 on hard goods, $3,200 on soft goods, $1,440 on expendables and $1,500 on extras in the first year, that grin on your child’s face as he watches you work out the kinks in your diaper changing technique… priceless.
About The Author

Born in New York City, Adam has been working as a screenwriter in Los Angeles for 10 years. He and his wife live in Bell Canyon with a 14-year-old son, 1-year-old baby boy, three dogs, two horses, and a cat. They’re expecting a partridge in a pear tree in December.