If Your OB Was Your BFF

• Be flexible and open to discussions.     • Best appointment times... • First one of the day     • First one after lunch     • Last appointment of the day (for extra time with your OB)     • Be prepared: write down your concerns before each visit.     • Got an embarrassing symptom? Your doc has heard it all before!

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f you met your ob/gyn over coffee rather than a pair of stainless steel stirrups, she’d probably let you in on some doctor secrets she doesn’t share with every pregnant patient.

“With girlfriends, my advice can be a little different because I know them well and know their habits,” says Sarah W. Prager, M.D., an ob/gyn and assistant professor of women’s health at the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle.

We gathered Prager and several other ob/gyns who could be your girlfriends - most of them have had babies themselves - and got them to go open up about topics like firing your ob/gyn and delivery-room gross-outs (Hint: They don’t bother doctors in the least). Here’s what they would tell you if you were a friend, rather than just another name on a medical chart.

Finding the Right Doctor
Just because your doctor has an M.D., that doesn’t mean she’s the best provider for you. Yes, you can fire your doctor - and if you are uncomfortable or unhappy with your care, you should.

“Women switch all the time, for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it’s just a compatibility issue, and most doctors don’t take it personally,” says Wendy Clarke Wilcox, M.D., an ob/gyn at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City.

Remember, it’s your pregnancy, and you’re in control of who provides your care. But Wilcox does suggest making the change as early as possible, because waiting until the last minute can cause a hardship for your new ob/gyn. “Relying on another doctor’s notes to get up to speed can be difficult,” she explains. If you’re too shy to tell your ob/gyn you’re switching, talk with the front desk to ensure you get your complete record.

Whether or not you’re looking for a new doc, it’s important to ask an ob/gyn some key questions when you get pregnant, such as how her practice handles complications; some would refer you to a high-risk specialist, while others are equipped to deal with most situations. You should also be sure you’d have access to a nurse or physician for after-hours questions.

One more vital subject: how deliveries are managed. “I think most patients expect that their doctor is going to be around more than she is during labor,” says Keisa J. Godwin, M.D., an ob/gyn at The Emory Clinic in Atlanta. Your physician is only one part of a labor team that includes nurses, who will monitor vitals and report back to the physician in charge, Godwin emphasizes. But if you’re looking for more personal attention, it can be found: Lanalee Araba Sam, M.D., an ob/gyn in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, limits her boutique private practice to only a handful of patients each month. Sam stays with her moms-to-be from the first contraction until the baby’s birth, but the service comes with a hefty out-of-pocket expense.

Trust your instincts during your interviews with ob/gyns - if you get any kind of bad vibe, move on. “You don’t have to compromise,” Sam says. To get a list of potential obstetricians, tap into your friends and acquaintances for referrals, Prager advises, because people are very candid about their experiences with physicians. You’ll quickly find out which docs get glowing reviews and which ones get the thumbs down.

Once you find a doctor you connect with, keep the relationship strong by avoiding what Godwin says ticks off docs the most: patients who demand that certain tests or treatments be done before discussing it at the appointment. “Communicate your concerns, but be open to the discussion,” Godwin says. “You can set up the doctor/patient relationship for failure by not being flexible.”