The Baby's Here:
New Arrival Etiquette

ne of the most exciting moments in life is receiving the phone call announcing, “The baby’s here!” Emotions run high and a slight panic can set in: What do I do now? Read on for suggestions on how to handle yourself now that the bundle of joy has arrived.

Don’t go to the hospital room or house uninvited.
Of course you want to show you care and you would especially love to meet the new little one, but just make sure you’re invited. Adjusting to life with a newborn can be overwhelming, so give new parents a chance to get the hang of it before you start hanging around.

Wash your hands.
Yes, you just washed them before you arrived, but humor the protective parents and do it again. If it means a newborn stays healthy, or just gives mom and dad peace of mind, it’s worth it. Remember, babies are very susceptible to germs in the early weeks of their lives.

Don't make any unfavorable remarks about the baby.
Whether true or not, new parents are going to be incredibly sensitive, as well as blinded by love. To you, their bundle of joy may have puffy eyes, a cone head and hairy arms, but to them it’s the most perfect creature on earth. Don’t burst their bubble.

Don't comment on the new mom’s body.
True, she still looks four or five months pregnant and that butt she gained has gone nowhere, but chances are she knows. Stick to the old adage: If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

Don't wear out your welcome.
You’ve received the coveted invite to see the baby and give your support, but keep in mind that the new mom and dad are drained. Just remember that if they give up on rest now, it might be another five years or so until they get it back. Limit visits to 15-20 minutes. If you’ve traveled a great distance to get there, plan plenty of other activities to keep yourself occupied while in town. It is likely you are one of several visitors, so be sensitive to the new parents’ need for down time.

Call once and wait for a return call before calling again.
New parents receive literally hundreds of phone calls upon baby’s arrival. While they’d prefer to return each and every one in a timely manner, it may not be possible. Many will send mass emails (or a Cradle e-card announcement) with updates and photos until they are able to get back to you on a more personal level.

Don't expect to be fed.
This is definitely the time to offer to cook or drop off dinner (preferably without you staying). If you do stay, keep it short and make sure to clean up entirely. Either way, have zero expectations that you’re going to be catered to, because they will be very busy catering to baby.

Don't complain that the granparents (or anyone else) is getting more time with the baby. 
This isn’t the time to keep score. A new mother may prefer to have her mother around, or instead may want her in-laws to help out with the baby. Even if your feelings may get hurt, this is a time to respect what works best for the new parents.

Adhere to "the schedule".
They’ve just figured out the best times to feed, bathe, and let baby rest. Support this amazing pitter-patter feat. Although you may prefer dinner at seven, serve it at five if the new parents find that works better for them.

Don’t be a know-it-all about the baby.
Finally! It’s your turn to hold the baby, and it instantly starts to cry! Before you list off your expertise as to why, there are a couple of things to consider. For example, the baby isn’t acquainted with your unfamiliar smell, or you might be holding the baby in an uncomfortable position, or baby just wasn’t ready to leave the previous person holding it. Try to avoid giving a list of your opinions in general. The parents know when the next feeding time is, whether the baby is cold, and whether the baby is tired. In other words, avoid any declarations such as: “He’s hungry!” “He’s tired!” “He’s cold!” Which leads to…

Avoid the phrase, "But I raised two kids!" (or similar). 
If it’s been a couple of decades years since you raised your children, not only has a lot of conventional wisdom changed, but you might also be out of practice. Think of it this way: If you tried to apply for a job that you haven’t had for 20-plus years, you’d likely be put through training again.

Even if you have recently had babies, try not to impose your child-rearing practices on them. It’s up to the new parents to decide what works best for THEIR babies. And keep in mind that every baby is different.

Adapt to changes.
There’s no way to predict how new parents will feel once the baby actually arrives. If that big dinner party they thought they’d be able to throw suddenly gets cancelled, be understanding. If they invited you to spend the night, don’t be surprised to find yourself looking for a last-minute hotel.

Don't comment on either parent's decision to return to work (or not).
For many women (and men), this is an incredibly difficult decision. There are many factors that go into deciding, so support their choice whether or not it’s your own. Remember, when it comes to business, it’s none of your… well, you get the point.

Don't touch the baby. (If you don't know the family.)
Oh, how babies bring joy in the most surprising places. If you happen to come across one in the grocery store, park, or anywhere else, make sure not to touch the baby. Coo from a reasonable, hands-free distance.

Etiquette aside, here’s all you really need to know when it comes to a new baby: Be supportive, be sensitive, and be sure to respect this overwhelming and exciting time in the new mom and dad’s life.