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Categories » Due In... /Babies Born In... » Babies Due in August '09 » This is totally frustrating, need to vent.

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This is totally frustrating, need to vent.
katielm03

Rank: seedling
Posts: 46
Joined: 3/23/09
Full Term
This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/9/09 8:27 AM
Okay! So my c-section is scheduled August 24th. Awesome! Now for the not so awesome part. My husband's whole family wants to come. I invited my mom to come stay with us and be here for the c-section, because I know she is going to be a lot of help- she helped me with my last c-section. I don't mind my mother in law being here, but on the other hand she is inviting everyone and their momma to come because it is her first grandchild. This really pisses me off because I am going to be in surgery- come out with a damn catheter, full of drugs and in pain, and barely dressed. I don't want a damn party waiting for me in my room. It's nice of them to be so supportive, but can't they wait til a day or so after I have the baby or until I get released. It's not like they carried the baby for 9 months and had to get it cut from their body. I just expected my husband, mother in law/father in law, mom/step dad to be in the room. My mother in law invited her friend to come down too!!!! I don't think so! I'm afraid I am going to be the daughter in law from hell and kick everyone out of my room. It sounds fair to me- I will need the rest, being that my husband's plans were to leave next month to join the military. I'll be the sleepless one, no one else!!!!!!!!!
jdini

Rank: bean
Posts: 2
Joined: 12/29/08
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/9/09 2:04 PM as a reply to katielm03.
Just tell them NO. You can do it respectfully...but it's important to your health and your emotional health to have rest and not be overwhelmed. It doesn't matter if feelings get hurt. At most hospitals you can have the nurses tell them NO if it comes down to them still showing up. That sounds so frustrating and disrespectful on their part! Good luck!
Baby-Berg

Rank: bean
Posts: 1
Joined: 5/7/09
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/9/09 3:40 PM as a reply to katielm03.
You need to tell them no to this whole party idea. Just explain that you are touched by her excitement and support but that this is considered a major surgery. Explain to her that you will be more than happy to allow her to visit on day 1 or 2 but that you really don't feel comfortable having her friends come and visit. That's really inappropriate. It should be your family and friends, not hers during the hospital time.
If worse comes to worse, use the tears! They seem to work wonders.

Good luck and congratulations.

 

 

katielm03

Rank: seedling
Posts: 46
Joined: 3/23/09
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/9/09 5:10 PM as a reply to Baby-Berg.
Thanks, I've told a few people that when I am ready for visitors I will let them know. I just have a feeling that when he is born I will have to fight everyone off to hold him. I think it's only fair that the mom gets to hold baby first. After all we are the ones who are abused by them for 9 months I'm hoping I go into labor a little sooner, so no one will be in town and it will be just my husband and I. That would be ideal
gusjodi

Rank: out of the nursery
Posts: 107
Joined: 2/8/09
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/9/09 6:54 PM as a reply to katielm03.
My c-section is scheduled for tomorrow and I haven't even told my family. We're going to call tehm after it's done and I'm ready for visitors. There is no reason for them to be there. It IS major surgery, they can wait a few hours...
jentomchak

Rank: seedling
Posts: 22
Joined: 12/31/07
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/9/09 9:43 PM as a reply to katielm03.
Oh Katie! That sounds super frustrating! If your mother-in-law insists and your husband doesn't back you up, one thing you can do is ask the hospital nurses to "enforce" rules on visiting hours and the number of visitors in the room with you. When I did the stork tour at our hospital, the nurses reiterated many times, that if we didn't want a circus of people in our room, they had no problem being the "bad guy" and kicking people out. I certainly hope your mother-in-law comes to her senses and realizes how important it is that you get your rest and bonding time with your new baby. Good luck!

 

 

Katie923

Rank: dedicated
Posts: 267
Joined: 1/13/09
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/11/09 3:40 AM as a reply to katielm03.
Put your foot down! Or better yet, have your hubby do it (that's what I did)! Sure it's exciting to have their first grandchild, but you're going to be going through a lot. My sister-in-law wants to come stay with me after the baby comes. I can't stand her as it is. Just her mere presence in a room makes me on-edge. Plus, she'd have to bring her bratty little 18-month old who she doesn't even know how to handle and is always asking me (who until now has no children) for advice... NO THANKS. I don't need "help" from someone who's going to be more needy than me! So I had my husband tell his family that we'll be calling AFTER the baby is born and that there is no need for them to come until we're out of the hospital. The only people we need around are the ones that will relax us and actually help us... no one else!
Jennominal

Rank: out of the nursery
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/11/08
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/13/09 12:39 PM as a reply to katielm03.
Respectfully tell them no (have your hubby do it)! I know for a fact I am going to have to deal with my husbands nosy family during my delivery and I am probably going to lose it! So ahead of time I have talked to my husband and told him to take care of the situation! I am not dealing with it is what I told him!
katielm03

Rank: seedling
Posts: 46
Joined: 3/23/09
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/14/09 2:49 AM as a reply to Jennominal.
I am just going to tell the nurse I want no one in my room until the next day when I am feeling better. She will look like the bad guy when she kicks everyone out!

 

 

Katie923

Rank: dedicated
Posts: 267
Joined: 1/13/09
Full Term
RE: This is totally frustrating, need to vent. | 8/14/09 3:48 AM as a reply to katielm03.
I think that's a good idea. That's probably the best way to handle it so that neither you nor your husband have to be the bad guy.
 
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