I am expecting my first child (a boy) in the next few days and have not thought much about having another mostly because this has been a very difficult pregnancy, etc. Now that the time is getting here, I really don't want to cheat my son out of a sibling and wonder how big an age difference would be good between children. My husband will be 40 next month and I will be 31 so he's in a bigger rush "if we are going to do this again at all" than I am because of this. I am VERY close to my sister and would love for my son to have a brother/sister of his own but don't want them to be so close in age that there is competition, etc. I just wanted to know what the experienced mommies out there thought.

my husband and I always said we've have two. I had my first daughter last October, and by the time she was 4 months old I was ready for another b/c I was just so in love with her! Our 2nd is due in December and they will be 14 months apart. I know I have a busy few years ahead of me, but I think they will be very close emotionally to one another as siblings. I have a sister and we are 2 years apart and very close as well. You will know what you can handle and what you want when the time comes.

My two will be 4 and a half years apart. I had a difficult first two years as a first time mom, looking back I think I was depressed.I'm glad I gave myself enough time to feel ready to get back in the saddle. And I knew I wanted at least three years because I wanted to give my first enough time to develop a confident sense of self before asking her to share her parents. When she was two and I would hold other small children she did not like it, I feel confident with my decision to give at least three years. A psychodynamic theory of child development that I like says to give 3-5 years (ideally)between sibling placement. Giving the child enough time to develop a healthy ego and then pushing them to learn frustration tolerance, sharing and all that good stuff we learn from siblings. I think that if a child has a loving and attentive home they will be good overall. All family's experience stress, competion and choas that is part of the territory.

My two toddlers are 12 months apart, almost exactly. And i LOVE it! When I had my second, my daughter (1st child)didn't really even notice...because she was still a baby too. So there was no jealousy or insecurities.
I pretty much did the same things for both of them- like twins. (two in diapers at the same time is crazy but do-able)But i got to do potty training all at once. I killed two birds with one stone. And that's awesome considering my daughter is the older one and boys tend to be later to PT. But he keeps up with her quite well.

Now they are going to be 4 and 3 in January and they are the best of friends.

My 1st and 2nd are 14 months apart and this one will be about 2 years and 2 months behind them. I love having them close together, and although this one wasn't planned, I'm looking forward to having all close in age.

It worked extremely well for us too because our oldest has autism and his little brother has pushed and helped his vocal/social skills much more then I thought possible.

I am pregnant with my third, who is due Nov 12, and my other two are 4 and 2. They are 2 years and 4 months apart and the next one is 2 years and 10 month apart from the youngest. They are all boys.

My brother was 7 years younger than me and my sister is only 2 years and 10 months older than me. My brother suffered from being so far apart from us and we treated him more like our little doll than a sibling. Now I have a great relationship with him but it took until we were adults and I feel like he missed allot of companionship and was more like an only child because of the gap.

I also am 35 and so the clock is ticking for me. And... when we decided to start having kids I wanted to get all the really physically busy (but wonderful) young years done together so I didn't get used to a different pace until we moved past that stage for good. So we started trying when they would have been 2 years apart (and you can tell by the spacing how long it took us to get pregnant :o)) So far.. it has been wonderful. I feel like I have had time watching each of them grow from babyhood to toddler and then been able to manage the new baby and continue to interact with the toddler. (we will see how I manage the third) And they are really good friends. They love each other (of course they do fight) and give each other hugs and kisses and talk about missing each other and sometimes will give generously even when it isn't asked of them to the other. My oldest when offered a treat or special event, while our youngest is having his nap, will say 'can I wait until Ben gets up so he can have some or participate too?' Those are the good moments :o)

So there are some thoughts... I have friends who want a larger space and some who swear by the closer the better but so far we have liked this spacing and it has given me time to heal physically between each and a year off breastfeeding before the new one arrives. (I breastfed each of our boys for a year before weening)

Good luck making your descision... and may you and your partner have allot of joy with your new baby due soon.

I'm so glad to hear you had a good experience with them 14 months apart, as that is how mine will be (my 1st just turned 1 yesterday and my 2nd is due in Dec). I'm just hoping the older one will be walking by the time her little sister arrives.....but if not we'll manage just fine I'm sure! If you have any good advice to share, I'm all ears, as anything helpful in preparation would be great!!

While I am overjoyed and beyond excited about the arrival of my little one this December, he was more of a Christmas suprise than a planned arrival. My bf and I aren't exactly where we'd like to be financially but we make it work. I decided that after I have my son I'm going on that Mirena (the 5yr birth control) because for one, I do NOT think I could do pregnancy with a toddler, I don't know where women who do, find the energy. And for two, 5 years from now I BETTER be where I want to be. I did ask my boyfriend though how he felt about it becuase in 5 years I'll be 29, but he'll be almost 37.