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Categories » Pregnancy 101 » Second Trimester » When other moms push their old baby gear on you (when you don't want it)

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When other moms push their old baby gear on you (when you don't want it)
MyraK

Rank: bean
Posts: 13
Joined: 9/15/09
Full Term
When other moms push their old baby gear on you... | 9/21/09 7:58 AM
What do you do?

I am a first time mom and have a few aquaintences who are done with their baby gear and are trying to be nice and give me their old stuff. Some of it is nice, and I really appreciate the gesture but some of it is really nasty and it's hard and akward to say I'll take this but not that.

One lady gave me some nice clothes but then was very pushy and insistent about me taking her nasty old crib even though the gate thing no longer worked, paint was chipped, splinters, etc. I almost felt like she was holding the stuff I wanted hostage - "you can't take the clothes unless you take the crib too" even though I told her I didn't want her old crib.

I guess I could have just taken the crib and thrown it away (she wouldn't know) but I think that's the point - she doesn't want to deal with disposing of the thing so she's using me to do that. Actually, this scenario has played out several times for me where someone will ditch a whole bunch of old stuff on me and most of it is junk and I just really don't have the time or space to go through it right now.

What are some of your experiences? Is it better to just reject these type of "favors"? Is it more trouble than it's worth?
SweetChandy

Rank: sprout
Posts: 71
Joined: 6/23/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/21/09 8:45 AM as a reply to MyraK.
A co worker of mine wants to give me clothes as well. I figured I would take the clothes and just give them away to salvation army. I really and truly don't know how to say know when someone is trying to be kind.
addetar

Rank: sprout
Posts: 77
Joined: 2/26/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/21/09 9:21 AM as a reply to MyraK.
For stuff like clothes, its sometimes easier to just take it and smile and later just throw it in the Good will box and set it on the curb for MS to pick up- with Furniture, I'd just say " I already have one" or offer other ways for them to get rid of it (See above- Multiple Sclerosis will come pick up anytime).

I appreciate the good intentions too, but you should NOT be a dumping ground for trashy baby stuff. YUCK!

 

 

Jennominal

Rank: out of the nursery
Posts: 102
Joined: 8/11/08
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/21/09 2:06 PM as a reply to MyraK.
OMG! I thought I was a mean horrible person until I read this post! My inlaws aren't the cleanest people in the world and I pride myself in being clean! They insist that I use my nephews old stuff. Gross! I know they are just trying to help but some thing you just want new for your baby! It deserves it if you can afford to give it to them! I can't stand the thought of my child swinging in my nephews swing or using his old play mats. Disgusting!
SconiMommy

Rank: bean
Posts: 14
Joined: 6/29/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/22/09 1:52 AM as a reply to MyraK.
Our baby was a big suprise and came at a time that I've been out of work (go figure). I've been quite grateful for some of the things I've received from people that I know will save us a bundle of money.. On the other hand, I'm having the same issue where people are trying to hand off items that I don't want to put the time into cleaning or fixing. With a lot of the people offering, I just say 'Thanks so much, but I've already got that'. Seems to work fine without offending anyone.
girlygirl87

Rank: seedling
Posts: 49
Joined: 3/2/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/22/09 7:20 AM as a reply to MyraK.
I think if someone is trying to give you a big item such as a crib or a swing that you don't want, it's better to just let them know that you don't need that item. If they are giving you clothes, I think just take them and keep what you want and discard the rest. My family tried to give us a crib. I really didn't like the style of it, although it was in good condition I just politely told them that we planned on buying one bran new but appreciated the offer.

 

 

Katie923

Rank: dedicated
Posts: 267
Joined: 1/13/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/23/09 3:24 AM as a reply to MyraK.
I agree with taking clothes and just not using them. As for big items, I would be honest. If you don't want them, don't take them. It just creates more of a hassle for you to get rid of. A friend of mine offered to let me use her old baby stuff. It was dirty and old. I just told her that I want to get my own stuff and thanked her for the offer anyways. Just act like you appreciate their offer, but decline it.
ladybox

Rank: seedling
Posts: 25
Joined: 4/8/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/23/09 5:17 AM as a reply to MyraK.
I have a lady I work with who's daughter has kids that have grown out of their baby carriers. She is trying to help her daughter get rid of them and was asking if I wanted one. I was able to let her know that we had one in mind that we really wanted but if that didn't work out I would let her know. I did make sure to tell her to keep looking for someone who might want them, I didn't want them holding on to the carriers just for me. She was really understanding so I didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable about saying no.


My problem on the other hand is a dresser that has been in my husbands family since he and his brother were really young. It's been to college with my husband and to college with his brother. Now his brother doesn't have room for it but doesn't want to sell it to someone so he wants to give it to us. This thing is big and bulky and my husband got all excited about it when he was talking to his brother. They both tell me it holds sentimental value. Ugh! I know my husband would decline it if it were anyone else offering this dresser. There's kind of already a thorn between me and my brother-in-law because of his girlfriend so I definitely don't want to grow the thorn so I guess I'm stuck with a dresser until my husband finds it loses it's sentimental value.
lixa13

Rank: bean
Posts: 1
Joined: 8/17/09
35th Week
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/23/09 7:07 AM as a reply to SweetChandy.
Just say thank you very much for thinking of us, but since it is our first, we would like to have the joy of going out and purchasing new items.

Or you can say that you have been bombarded by other family and friends with items and really cannot handle any more stuff.

 

 

aecollins

Rank: bean
Posts: 4
Joined: 9/23/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/25/09 12:39 AM as a reply to lixa13.
It is very hard to say no, because you know that most people have the best intentions at heart. But I agree, just say that you already have one, or that you've picked one you really like already. Most people would understand!
angiejo

Rank: bean
Posts: 5
Joined: 1/9/09
Full Term
RE: When other moms push their old baby gear on... | 9/30/09 4:25 AM as a reply to MyraK.
I just tell them I appreciate the offer but I already have "fill in the blank". Even if I don't have it. As for clothes I take all that is given and anything I don't want I put on freecycle.org for a family who would like it. Also, suggest they do the same for things they don't want. There is always a family in need that would love and appreciate the item they are giving out. It's a win win.
 
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