RE: does your child favor one parent?
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9/17/09 9:04 AM
as a reply to Anonymous.
Yes, my 4 year old daughter prefers me over her dad. I tickle and play with her, when he tries to do the same - she cries, tells him his "sharpies" beard, hurt, that he's mean, or just go away. It hurts him like crazy and he blames me. I try to tell him to be patient, spend more time alone with her, have something that only they do together, and I discipline her saying "it's not ok, to be mean to papa", time outs don't work, yelling certainly doesn't work. When he leaves, she asks me "it's good that papa isn't here, huh mama?", I say no, its not good, I would like papa to be here with us both. Nothing seems to work, our relationship is approaching crisis with this problem. None of my suggestions are taken into account, and now he's treating her like he himself is a 4 year old, not speaking, not playing. I'm sure that this phase will pass with my daughter, but I'm not sure it'll pass before my relationship with her father is over. It takes two, mature, patient, engaged, well informed parents to raise a child, really, if one is absent - emotionally, physically or the maturity level just isn't there to cope with whatever comes up - the kid is going to rely solely on the one that's there all the time - and it becomes ONE parent raising the child.
Moving through a phase alone,
Kimberley
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