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Categories » Trying to Conceive » miscarriage help

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miscarriage help
choover

Rank: seedling
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/08
Full Term
miscarriage help | 12/4/08 4:53 AM
So I just miscarried 5 days ago and now I have this horrible empty feeling and an awful need to get pregnant again that my husband doesn't understand. At the same time I am really scared it will happen again. Has anyone else had a miscarriage who can offer some advice on this?
karebear

Rank: bean
Posts: 1
Joined: 11/26/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 12/4/08 4:37 PM as a reply to choover.
i can relate i actually had 2 miscarriages one after the other. having a baby might seem like the perfect answer, but in reality your body needs to heal. you will know when your ready to try again, when that time comes just relax miscarriages happen. remember some women cant conceive.
Bellybean09

Rank: seedling
Posts: 41
Joined: 6/2/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 12/4/08 8:06 PM as a reply to choover.
choover:
So I just miscarried 5 days ago and now I have this horrible empty feeling and an awful need to get pregnant again that my husband doesn't understand. At the same time I am really scared it will happen again. Has anyone else had a miscarriage who can offer some advice on this?


I have had 3 miscarriages and a chemical and I have no living children. The best thing for you to do is completely grieve the loss of your child BEFORE getting pregnant again. Otherwise you can get pregnant too soon for you and be a nut case next time. I know how you feel though, I just had my last one a few weeks ago. I'm sorry for your loss. If you need to talk feel free to message me! Feel better!

 

 

BabyMiles

Rank: sprout
Posts: 90
Joined: 5/6/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 12/4/08 8:18 PM as a reply to Bellybean09.
I MISCARRIED AND WANTED TO HAVE A BABY AGAIN AS SOON AS I COULD. MY HUSBAND DIDNT AGREE WITH ME AND IT CAUSED SEVERAL FIGHTS. FINALLY WE JUST AGREED ON A TIME TO START TRYING AGAIN AND I GOT PREGNANT ALMOST RIGHT AWAY. I SHOULD BE HAVING THIS BABY NEXT WEEK. GIVE YOUR BODY TIME TO HEAL. MY DOCTOR SAID TO WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE ATLEAST 2-3 REGULAR MESTURAL PERIODS. IT SAYS YOU CAN DO IT AS SOON AS 1 PERIOD, BUT TO MAKE SURE YOUR BODY HAS RESTED I WOULD WAIT FOR 3. THATS WHAT I DID.
choover

Rank: seedling
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 12/6/08 1:59 AM as a reply to Bellybean09.
I am so sorry to hear that. I never want to go through this again but I have a healthy happy two-year-old and I don't think I could have gotten through this without her. Sometimes I get very sad though and I feel bad because my husband can't feel the way I do but it hurts him to see me feeling so bad and not be able to do anything. I think even if I wait a year I am going to be a nutcase worrying about what could happen. We have decided to wait at least 3 months. I don't know how to feel about that. Keep in touch...this is not something people like to talk about but sometimes it is necessary.
greenbug

Rank: bean
Posts: 1
Joined: 5/29/08
38th Week
RE: miscarriage help | 1/7/09 1:43 AM as a reply to choover.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is an awful thing to go through. I miscarried in July and as my would have been due date approaches it gets even harder. My husband and I went through the same thing. I wanted to try again as soon as I was allowed and he wanted to wait. It took awhile but he finally came out and said it was because he was afraid it would happen again and he didn't want anything to happen to me. Take time to heal and grieve the loss of your child. Listen to your doctor's advice. And as much as you don't want to and disagree with your husband you need to listen to him and let him grieve. Both of you lost your baby and both of you need to learn how to live with that before you can try to get pregnant again. You'll never forget or get over it. You learn to live with it. I wish you weren't going through this, it is awful. Let yourselves heal though before you try again. It is the best thing for you. Good luck with everything and again, I am so sorry for your loss.

 

 

choover

Rank: seedling
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 1/11/09 3:15 AM as a reply to greenbug.
So now I am close to a basket case. My husband and I were not thinking about getting pregnant or the loss we went through, we were just trying to get through the holiday season with our two other kids. About 2 weeks after the miscarriage, we had a tree trimming party and had a really good time and well...I guess we didn't follow the doctor's orders but it wasn't malicious. On the 27th of December, I noticed that things were just different, I was horrible moody, worse than the worst pms ever, and my skin was different, broken out all over my chest but my face was so dry it felt like scales. I took a test even though if I counted the micarriage as my last period it would only be due that day. It took less than 30 seconds and I got a positive result. This was 2 weeks ago and now I just sit here and think if I get through the next 14 days this pregnancy will have lasted longer than the last. I haven't called my doctor and don't want to because I know she won't be happy and also, I am aware of the statistics and either I will miscarry again or I won't. We have told no one yet and I am far from excited but this one is making me feel really sick most of the time. My mother-in-law and step-son don't know yet and they live with me so I figure its only a matter of time although my husband is set on waiting 12 weeks. This has rambled on long enough. Thanks for all your support.
Cate Cradle
RE: miscarriage help | 1/12/09 8:03 PM as a reply to choover.
choover:
So I just miscarried 5 days ago and now I have this horrible empty feeling and an awful need to get pregnant again that my husband doesn't understand. At the same time I am really scared it will happen again. Has anyone else had a miscarriage who can offer some advice on this?



Hello,
I am Cate Cradle, a member of the Cradle team. I am sorry for the difficult situation you are experiencing. I would like to suggest an article that may be helpful with this particular topic:

Conception After Miscarriage


Take care,
Cate
Steph@Andrei

Rank: bean
Posts: 1
Joined: 1/12/09
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 1/12/09 8:46 PM as a reply to Cate Cradle.
I Had A miscarriage in this past November i was 9 weeks along it was really hard and I was upset for a a couple days then I just let my self relize GOD works in crazy ways and he must have know something was wrong with my pregnacy so he took the little one away. My other half was really sweet about everything when we found out he said " Dont cry we can make a fresh one a healthy one" he said it in those exsact words it was so cute we are both ready to try agian but im worried it will happen agian I just dont know know if I could handle it twice. but im still hopefull

 

 

choover

Rank: seedling
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 1/13/09 5:01 AM as a reply to Steph@Andrei.
I understand how that fear goes except that we never came to the decision to start trying again, we just found out we were pregnant. So now the fear is very real and I am continuing to count down the days to 12 weeks and hearing the heartbeat. Good luck to you and if you and your husband feel you are ready, you should again place it in God's hands. Although my situation is not ideal, I have given it up to God. This does not keep me from worrying, thats just part of being a mom.
babydoll07

Rank: seedling
Posts: 48
Joined: 12/26/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 1/13/09 1:26 PM as a reply to choover.
if it makes you feel any better, i've heard that the more hormonal you are, the better your chances of NOT miscarrying. (doesn't help when your head is in the toilet...i know.)

i am due at the end of february, but this pregnancy was twins and we lost one. it's called vanishing twin syndrome. we went early on for an us because i already have one set of twins. they could see one heart beat, and a second sac, but no 'fetal pole'. they made us come in for us after us. and even though we were pretty over it, and had pretty much realized that one was gone. when the doctor finally said the other one was gone i cried and cried. i think really i'm ok with it now, but i wanted a girl and someone said maybe the one we lost was the girl and it stung all over again. since i already have a set of twins, i'm sort of glad that it's not, but we did keep the first us picture to put in the baby book anyway. .
choover

Rank: seedling
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 1/14/09 3:54 AM as a reply to babydoll07.
Its really weird but I think this one is ok. Everything is a little different than last time. The same pregnancy symptoms but much more intense. Also, I am already producing colostrum but am only 6 1/2 weeks. This didn't happen in either of my previous two pregnancies. My doctor's policy is not to see patients prior to 10 weeks but I am not sure I want to go at 10 weeks because they won't check for a heart beat because it is very common not to be able to locate the baby that early and they don't want to scare you. If I go at 10 weeks then they won't see me again until 14 weeks and I don't think I can wait a whole month. I think I will just wait until 12 weeks.

 

 

babydoll07

Rank: seedling
Posts: 48
Joined: 12/26/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 1/17/09 8:29 AM as a reply to choover.
My husband is military and they won't see you until you're 12 weeks unless you can 'bully' them into it. The only reason we were able to get the ultrasound so early is my history of twins.

I would say to go ahead and take the 12 week appointment. That way you'll feel better having heard the heart beat.

And I hope it all works out for you this time around!! Keep me posted!
choover

Rank: seedling
Posts: 36
Joined: 11/6/08
Full Term
RE: miscarriage help | 1/21/09 3:20 AM as a reply to babydoll07.
three days and counting. I am 53 days pregnant and last time I misscarried at 56. So far so good. I just want to get to 12 weeks and hear the heartbeat so I can breathe a little easier.
 
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