Feeling the blues? Dr. Pec Indman answers your questions about prenatal and postpartum depression.
If something is weighing on your mind, go ahead and ask.
I brought my son home 2 weeks ago and just adore him. But if I stop to think about all the things involved in taking care of him, I start having a panic attack. I’m scared that I’m not cut out to be a parent.
Congratulations on your new son! It is quite normal to feel overwhelmed after bringing a new baby home. There is a lot of pressure to be the perfect mom, and there are a multitude of products to help you achieve that goal. But what your baby needs most is you and others who will love him! Babies need to be fed, changed, held, smiled at, and talked to.
Some women do experience panic attacks. During a panic attack you might experience difficulty breathing, a feeling of smothering, a pounding or racing heartbeat, sweating, tingling in the fingers or around the lips. It is common to feel a sense of doom - that something bad is about to happen or that you are going to die. Sometimes people experiencing panic go to the emergency room, thinking they are having a heart attack. It can be very frightening.
I think your first step is to figure out if you are indeed suffering from panic attacks. I would encourage you to speak with your primary care or OB provider. Cognitive-behavioral therapy has been shown to be very effective for panic. Sometimes medications are helpful, as well.
Talk about your fears and concerns about motherhood with your partner or a close friend or family member. Ask yourself, “Is there any evidence that I’m not cut out to be a mom?” You may find more evidence that you are cut out to be a mom. If your worry gets in the way of enjoying your baby, or you can’t get the doubts out of your mind, please talk with a professional. Sometimes serious doubts are related to postpartum depression and anxiety. Depression can make it difficult to see what you are doing well. Most of the women I see in my practice feel like they aren’t “cut out to be a mom.” Once the depression resolves, they recognize what good moms they actually are. I’ve never met a mom who wasn’t “cut out” for motherhood.
Get more ASK DR. PEC INDMAN
About The AuthorPec Indman Ed.D, MFT, has a Doctorate in Counseling and a Master's Degree in Health Psychology. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and formerly a Physician Assistant. She has a psychotherapy practice in San Jose, California. Specializing in issues related to reproductive health, pregnancy, and postpartum, Pec is a trainer for Postpartum Support International, and a member of the North American Society for Psychosocial OB/GYN and The Marce Society. She speaks and teaches throughout the US. She is the mother of two girls.
