Secrets of Second-Timers

hen those two pink lines confirmed I was pregnant with Baby Number Two late last year, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Not only had the ovulation predictor helped ensure conception, but I was now a veteran pregger - and much more relaxed about the next nine months.

I thought about all the things I wished I had known the first time - realities about pregnancy that would have saved me a lot of worry and hand-wringing. Like the fact that lower abdominal aches don’t mean you’re necessarily having an ectopic pregnancy - it’s just your ligaments stretching to accommodate your growing uterus. Or the fact that morning sickness can suddenly disappear, and it doesn’t mean that anything is wrong.

In hindsight, I wish someone had told me that my well thought–out birth plan might run smack dab into hospital procedures or physician practices and have little effect on the actual day of delivery. I also wish someone had whispered in my ear that my ob/gyn would probably not actually show up until the last 20 minutes - and that unfamiliar (but great!) hospital nurses would be the ones primarily caring for me during those long labor and postpartum hours. Or that my newborn baby, Max, might have no interest in breastfeeding for the first 48 hours - and that he would be just fine anyway.

Every pregnancy is different, of course, but there is some mother wisdom to be passed along from those who’ve been there to those just beginning their journeys. The following are quotes and musings from experienced moms who shared their second- (or third-) time secrets. Read it and relax.

Nutrition and Exercise

“I have 3 boys (11, 9, and 6), and definitely learned lots after each pregnancy, such as how to control a craving to eat an entire pizza. I was coming home one night and all of a sudden got an intense craving. I raced through town and restaurants were only selling by the slice, so I kept driving. I got one and I ate the better part of the pizza. I was starving and excited and ‘eating for two.’ Lo and behold, when my son arrived I had gained 60 pounds.”
Amy Smith, Potomac, MD

“I have diabetes. With my first pregnancy, there was a lot of anxiety about blood sugar. You just kind of realize that you have to be careful and vigilant, but no one is perfect, so you just do the best you can. If you’re lucky, it will go well.”
Liz Stone, Portland, OR 

“I gave up exercising way too soon. I’d always heard that you should continue what you were doing but shouldn’t add anything new. I’d been going to the gym pretty regularly, three or four times a week, doing cardio and weights. I exercised through the sixth and seventh months. I should’ve gone all the way. I would’ve gained less weight. With my second and third pregnancies, I still gained 40 pounds, but that’s 20 less pounds than the first. It was much easier to take the weight off.”
Amy Smith

Shopping

“Don’t buy maternity clothes right away, not everyone will get a big belly so soon. I wasted a lot of money and clothes because things didn’t fit.”
Jessica Pearson, Burnaby, British Columbia

Labor and Delivery

“I used to take this prenatal yoga class. It was mostly young women in their first pregnancy. We spent so much time talking about birth and delivery. Everybody wanted to have births at home. The birth is the easy part - it’s when the kid gets home that’s hard.”
Liz Stone

Trusting Your Instincts

“The ob/gyn resident on call at the hospital refused to give me an epidural when I checked myself in, despite my screams and tears, because she said I was not in labor. I wondered how this young doctor could possibly know what it was like to be in labor. I was ready to rip her head off and she conveniently disappeared for the rest of the night. When the attending physician finally came in that morning, he checked how far I was dilated and said, ‘You’re having a baby this morning.’ I quickly got the epidural and delivered very soon thereafter.”
Amber Hsu, Potomac, MD