y grandfather’s number one rule in life was: “Make sure you have the right tools for the job.” The man had an entire cellar dedicated to every type of tool and gadget for repairing anything. My wife’s pregnancy could have gone so much better if I had just stuck to my grandfather’s simple rule as fervently as he did.
If you’ve just found out that you will be taking on the lifelong task of fatherhood and you’re not sure what “tools” you’ll need, do yourself a favor and print this list, tape it to your fridge and make your wife’s pregnancy – and your life – a whole lot easier.
A Big Bottle of Minutes
Use these every chance you get. Take one or two when you first find out you’re going to be a father. Allow yourself a few minutes to celebrate, worry, and think about those father and son picnics in your future. Take one every time things get tense to remember what your wife is going through. And NEVER take one before responding when your wife asks, “Do my ankles look fat?”
A Strong Set of Ears
You will use these A LOT – in many different situations - so make sure they’re durable. Sometimes they will be needed to listen to your wife vent about the store not having any chocolate cherry chip ice cream, and you’ll want to make sure you ratchet up your empathy and patience. Other times, when your wife is crying because “I don’t know why!”, you’ll need them to be sympathetic. You’ll also need them to be powerful enough to pick up the faint whisper of, “Honey, are you up... I think it’s time.”
A Flexible Calendar
For the next nine months – at least – prepare to slide everything and anything off your social calendar that doesn’t have to do with your baby. Does that mean you won’t have a life during this time? No, but as your wife prepares to bring a brand new life into the world, you should at least be prepared to cancel your Tuesday night basketball game once in a while.
A Box of Assorted Dates
Make it a big box. Use one to celebrate with your wife when you first learn about your impending arrival. Use another one after your wife’s morning sickness and nausea have passed (but remember they might return), then carefully distribute the rest at select times throughout the next eight months. Use these dates to reconnect as husband and wife, to remember what it was that first made you realize why you wanted to start a family with this person and to just get out of the house – even for a little bit. Always remember to bring your adjustable ears.
A Cordless Alarm Clock
Make sure it’s the old-fashioned kind. It should have that loud-metallic-startles-you-awake ring to it. Set the alarm for 3:30 A.M. – better yet, have your wife set it on the night you least expect it. When the alarm goes off, get up, cradle the ringing alarm in your arms, go to your kitchen, and shut the alarm off. Pull out a 5 pound bag of flour from the pantry. Carry this bag around in your arms for 45 minutes while you sing softly. Then go back to bed. Repeat this every once in a while. Don’t understand why? Don’t worry, you will.
A Professional Size Calculator
Now is the time to go over your budget. If you and your wife don’t have one – it’s time to make one. You have one, but have trouble sticking to it? Start thinking about that extra hungry mouth that is coming as motivation to trying a little harder. Remember, your food budget will go up as your wife starts eating for two. You will also have to start putting money aside for the never-ending supply of diapers, wipes, and all the other baby paraphernalia you will need. Do not look to your baby shower as one-stop shopping either. This is a financial lifestyle change.
