Easing the Transition to New Motherhood

hen my first child was born, I felt a combination of feelings that included exhilaration, excitement, bewilderment, and disbelief. At the time, I worried if I was not up to the task of raising a child. I quickly realized that the process of becoming a mother was like no other experience that I had had before.

As a therapist and researcher, I was interested in how this experience affected other women, so I set out to capture how women felt during this transition to motherhood.

I interviewed first-time mothers soon after the birth of their first child and saw that four major topics kept emerging:

• Body Image

• Career

• Marriage/Relationship

• Seeing Themselves as a “Mother”

If you are have just joined the club of new motherhood and can identify with any (or all) of these experiences, know that you are not alone. And there are things that you can do to help ease this transition.

Your Body
Your Career
Your Marriage/Relationship
Your View of Yourself as a “Mother”

YOUR BODY

During Pregnancy:
While some women say that they feel sexier and prettier during pregnancy than at any other time in their lives, others struggle to accept the changes that their bodies go through. And since many of the women in the latter category have spent most of their lives trying to control the size and shape of their bodies, they can become self-conscious as they watch their bodies change and grow.

After Birth:
Some women think that their bodies will go back to their previous size very quickly after giving birth. Unfortunately, this expectation is not realistic, and can actually be detrimental to a healthy adjustment to motherhood.

What You Can Do:
Give yourself a break!

You might not believe it, but your body will return to a comfortable shape and size in good time. Although it’s easier said than done, pregnancy and the first weeks postpartum are a time to nurture yourself and your child.

It is so important to find ways to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Try to connect with your body in a positive way.

A couple of ideas:

• Ask a friend to make (or buy) an earthy batch of soup.
   
• Soak your feet in warm water.

Many of us get anxious when our bodies are not the size and shape that we want them to be, but it is crucial that we remember the job of carrying and caring for a newborn is a unique and time-limited function.

My own personal experience: I had a wonderful doula come to my house and make me chicken soup after the birth of my third child. I can’t tell you how comforting that was for me on a physical and emotional level.

NOTE: If you feel that you are thinking too much about your body and are unable to think about other things, please speak to your OB/GYN and seek the advice of a professional.