Will I Ever Sleep Again? page 2

Her body’s systems are still undeveloped and she is completely dependent on you to meet all of her needs. As wonderful a time as this is for new parents, and as much as you may marvel over this little miracle who has arrived in your lives, you may feel overwhelmed by the constant care giving responsibilities, as well as the lack of sleep. For better or worse, it is normal for parents to feel sleep deprived and exhausted during the first four months!

Regarding baby’s sleep, there is an extremely wide range to what’s considered normal at this age. Some babies sleep around the clock and never really wake up unless they want to eat; others are much more wakeful, and sleep in short bursts at night, waking to feed often, and taking short “catnaps” throughout the day. Whatever your child’s patterns, follow his lead and allow him to sleep when he wants to sleep, and feed when he wants to feed. He needs you to respond to his signals during this stage, because your response is what helps him learn how to communicate his needs.

If you do need to help your baby to sleep, don’t worry! There are no bad habits at this age - your baby legitimately needs your help, so feel free to rock, feed, bounce, or walk her to sleep. It’s a myth that you need to get your baby on a strict schedule from the get-go, and doing so may actually be dangerous. It’s much better to wait until she’s a little older, and physiologically ready to stretch out sleeping and feeding times. Closer to 3 months, you can experiment with putting her down drowsy. For now (and as a good general practice), if you need to feed or change her at night, try to keep the lights low and keep your interactions to a minimum.  This way you won’t reinforce wakefulness by making it fun for her to see you in the middle of the night.

When Can We Introduce a Bedtime Routine?
At about 8 weeks, you can begin using a bedtime routine. This is a 15- to 45-minute series of predictable events that helps a baby to unwind at day’s end and to know that sleep time is coming. It doesn’t really matter what you choose to do in your routine as long as you keep an eye on slowing things down. What does matter is that you do the same things every night in exactly the same order, in the space where your baby sleeps.

Typical activities in a bedtime routine include any combination of:

At this age, you will probably rock or feed your baby to sleep as the last part of the routine. This is just fine! Remember, there are no bad habits right now.

Lastly, take advantage of your baby’s portability at this age. Many babies like to fall asleep in the car or stroller, and will sleep just about anytime, anywhere - in a restaurant, at the movies, at a friend or family member’s house. This will change significantly at 4 months when she’ll need to begin to get better quality sleep in a quiet, darker environment. So enjoy the flexibility while you can.

3 - 4 Months
At this age, babies reach a significant cognitive milestone. Essentially, their brains go through a giant growth spurt. You will notice that your sweet but unfocused little newborn suddenly becomes extremely alert and distractible. A baby who used to feed intently will now pop off and on the breast or bottle, turning to look when daddy or big sister walks into the room, or if a noise catches his attention. Parents often begin to think the baby is self-weaning from the breast or not hungry for his bottle, but this apparent lack of interest in eating has more to do with the baby’s emerging awareness that there is a world around him - and he wants to interact with it! His regular feeding habits should return soon; until then you may want to try to feed him in a quiet, dark space to help him relax.